Friday, September 7, 2012

Widow's Work

My life is totally unpredictable - - emotionally.

This morning I got up, opened the blinds to the sunny day and felt like getting right to work to whittle down my "today" list. I answered emails, wrote a blog, post and then called the MD DMV to see what I have to do to get new car license plates.

The other day I received a letter from the DMV pointing out a problem. Jim is deceased. Well, yes. And, I agree - it is a problem. The problem from their point of view is that Jim is the only one named the owner of our car. My name is not on the title - so they cannot issue me new tags until I take his death certificate, the original title and the administration papers that named me the Executor of Jim's Will to a full service DMV office. Drat - not to the near-by Express Office. I have a few weeks before my current license plates expire.

It all sounds very straight forward doesn't it? Its straight forward all right but to me - its another erasure. Another time I remove Jim's name. Is it just me that feels that as losing another connection?

It took a couple of hours for all that to settle on me. Then I started crying. From nowhere I was sobbing. But I finally recognized that it wasn't from nowhere - - it was related to the call to the DMV.

You see its not the car really. We didn't realize only Jim's name was on the title. If we had Jim would have corrected that himself. He would have added my name. No - my feelings are bubbling up from my having to take his name off. That's a widow's work.

My advice - be sure you are in joint ownership on everything with your spouse. Then you can by-pass this little chore than can leave you on the floor. 

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